We all do it, we drop the:
“gosh this looks horrible on me”
“welp these jeans got a little tight over the winter”
“Ugh don’t look at me, I’m a mess today”.
These words naturally are released during conversation or mirror talk.
Rarely, if ever would you say to yourself:
“Girl, you look fab!"
“Okay jeans are a little tight, but I love 'em so I am just gonna size up and rock those!”
"I feel so powerful today!"
Why is that?
Why is it that we are quick to put ourselves down?
It is a hard question to navigate, because the answers behind that question then to be tied to experiences, generational pass down, trauma, hurt, pain etc...
Many of us have been convinced through media, advertising, fitness experts, and maybe even people in our family that we are just NOT GOOD ENOUGH...
Some of us were raised in a home where our parents used words towards themselves or you as a child that were hurtful or negative in regards to body image.
We have been conditioned by marketing and advertising that “eating a cake means you need to go for a run” or that LOW Fat is the only way to eat or a little diet pill will cleans our insides and reduce belly fat.
ALL BIG FAT LIES!
But there is also another reason we are quicker to put ourselves, and slower to approve of ourselves.
This is because we have been trained that being proud of a good day, a day we feel bad-ass, on point, sexy, pretty, fabulous… whatever—it is wrong, and doing so is considered gloating or bragging or even, attention seeking!
Why is it that, it is socially unacceptable to announce the positives yet it is not only acceptable, it is normal that we put ourselves down or hide our accomplishments?
It’s okay to complain but not to compliment!
We have been told that we should not dare think we are amazing.
That it is weird if you look at yourself in the mirror and say “Girl, you’re on FIRE” but it is SO normal if you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Girl, you look like SHIT!”
That it is bragging if you are proud of your health successes, like being able to run a 5k or getting your health under control through better eating
So let's get scientific for a moment, and talk brain neurones:
Your body is a scientist and it wants to keep you healthy, but we roll out of bed with such little gratitude... and clouded visions of #diets, and #fitspo and #howtogetabikinibody ... we ultimately place barriers to achieving optimal health and happiness! ⠀
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When you continuously say negative messages to your self, you strengthen the neuron pathways and create negative patterns.
You start to believe these thoughts, and truly get stuck with negative brain patterns. So much so, that when you start to TRY and have an attitude of gratitude for your awesome self, or just shift into a more positive mindset ... it is HARD. It is a CHALLENGE. Because now those negative thoughts are safe in your brains space, and it takes a lot of repetitive work to try and re-create a more positive environment in your brain.
Okay.. so how do we flip the script?
So if we know that we are creating negative patterns in our brain - we have to stop, jump on that brain train and move onto another!
I challenge you to lead the way with verbally stating positive compliments to others and to yourself!
I honestly feel the best way to start is actually by giving compliments to other women. Watch their face light up, or watch their cheeks get red, or feel the way their energy shifts.
Now just think, YOU CAN DO THAT FOR YOURSELF as well!
Wake up and give yourself a “Hot Damn!!” not, “Oh… damn…”
Compliment yourself when you wake up
Take a minute to celebrate wins for the day, week, month
Start your morning with something you are grateful for!
Be proud when you achieve a goal, but also show yourself love if you take time away from that goal.
Smile at yourself and tell your body and mind that they are valued and LOVED by you.
Get excited after a great workout but be proud when you know to take a rest day, and not feel guilty for it.
Gratitude+Hope+Happiness+Love=A happier, healthier, calmer and more passionate life
So stop saying negative things about yourself, SHIFT that.
Capture the next time, and pause. Ask yourself why you think those negative thoughts, unpack them for a minute, and then, let them the F* Go! Because you are too valuable and too amazing to be waiting any more time on anything but fabulous thoughts and positive
We have to start the shit. Many of us have mothers that still talk horribly about themselves. We need to break the pattern. It will take us taking ownership over our bodies and minds - taking that away from the advertisers or brands that are trying to convince us 'otherwise'.
We need to finally LISTEN to our selves.
Let me know how it goes the first time you try it!
Smash the Negative --> SHIFT into the positive ❤️
xo,
Melis'